When does the journey get easier?

I am in a very place- or more fittingly appropriate space in my life. It seems as though burdens only become more burdensome than anything. I mean I just want to lock myself in the closet and eat double cheese burgers until my heart explodes because my arteries are clogged from all the grease and fat. I'll be too stuffed to get fitting for funeral attire so my body would have to be burned and sorted through the ocean.

I feel like I'm being stalked. For real and its super creepy, so I go to therapy every week. Thats really not going anywhere. I feel like Im talking in circles instead of moving forward. Why does it seem that there is no urgency in my recovery?

And doctors prescribe shitloads of calorie filled pills and you're burning up inside and outside because its the summer time. I guess they feel like if they give me enough pills with sugar in them I eventually develop an artificial happiness, its not working, if anything it is making me more miserable.


I'm not looking at my past for a moment in regret. I can say it enough, that I'm looking towards something new. You couldnt understand if I could explain it in a more simple nonverbal statement. Its unfair to be labeled as something you're not when the very people who put this labels on you are the ones who actually mental evaluation.

I mean to think that you have to water yourself down so that those who could care less can catch-up. Yes. Like your real friends know where you're suppose to be and the slow motion click is getting grandfathered into positions and stature and they have no idea how to correctly perform the duties of their "career" And, you've been a college grade for six years, to no avail. And, I can't respect someone who thinks that self-reliance is "stupid" or "dumb."

And the ignorant ones laugh, and call you names because to actually have an opinion is a foreign thought, never heard of. Basic. Simple. Average.

Its either better or ended it; the world that is. People wake up everyday for what? What motivates you to live everyday? And then having to inhabit yourself around negativity constantly for years is never conducive to growth and positivity; is it? I cant see it being so.

Stop the facades. You are only making a mockery of yourself.


Listening to R.Kelly "Did you get my card"

<3
- Be Forever

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