Life is moving and what is changing is beautiful! Rekindling broken relationships is what I am moving towards and I feel that the right people are coming with me as I encompass a full circle. I'm not feeling regret, Im feeling purpose. And purpose feels good! Those precious moments that I once cried over, and raced over, really do not matter.
Im in a good place and I wanna stay in my happy place. Im just learning patience again patience with those little things,embracing that love from the lovers. So,yeah, Im Good! I'm loving, sharing and talking to those who want me in their life. and that is what feels so AMAZING!
Lol and to think I was chasing pavements; "Not no Mo!" Yeah, that's right. I found that girl I lost seven years ago, and she said she is ready to start over, giving love her wings; We In Here! :) I missed you so much. And all I can say is do not Phuck up! LOL!
Closing out the Month; Marching FORWARD to CHANGE!
The OBAMACARE health incentive is in full force, and surprisingly, the media is still constantly encouraging consumers to take advantage of the opportunity. Moreover, the media is also warning consumers of possible tax penalties next year if the government sees that they have neglected to sign up for health care. All I can say is WOW! Yes, wow! Thats amazing that change is in action and we are still negligent in taking the necessary precautions for stability!
What I can admit is that I will likely be penalized during next year tax season because, when I decided to sign up for coverage; the entire government was shut- down! LOL. By the way, I can not remember hearing reports about the possible shutdown that was predicted to occur last month! So, things are looking up! and thats always good news, right?
It is another monotonous Monday!! What are we here for? Why was I created? Good questions. Do ever feel like you're in the middle of a circle; or a converse of no stopping points? I always do! Its so Monotonous! So, Im like waiting on the metro transit, and I was think about that clique quote; and I was like I need to complete that one, so I did. What do you think about absence: not in "love" love, maybe something that you LOVE! What do you do to feel satisfied? What the substance thats missing to you? is there a substitute for the truth?
So, this has been sort of a challenging week for me! I got over those jitters March always seems to bring. Took an organic approach to conflict, confusion, chaos! Now, I work towards contentment of infertility and wanting to reproduce.
And, how I feel; its only going to change if you let it, Im forreal see. So, I guess Ill get my ink redone. New Attitudes have to be solidified with new ink! And its well past due for me. I'm just apprehensive about the pain, of which I do not do well with. So, I guess it.s a matter of getting over the initial shock of the pain. There is nothing more disappointing than having to do things in a repetitive form; more often than not; the act of doing so gives you that feeling of incompetence.
I feel incompetence in many areas of my life some of which are primarily my own doing. And other failures derive from poor decisions which lead to more hardship; so, then you're left in a feeling of resentment. And resentment leads to questions and those questions never get answered; and unanswered questions leads to depression; and depression, anxiety because you're left with a feeling of worthlessness.
Not wanting to be who you are because you've been told all your life that no matter how much you ascend yourself into that realm of competence; you'll never be perfect or master the unspoken ethical code of life which appears to be status, money, and automatic respect.
And, even though you feel that you've mastered those things you cant seem to get the reciprocal. And if you matter to you; you never give up and you strive for those things perpetually.
So, I always seek more from life, and I encourage all those who want more to take the same just stand; and worry not about status, money and automatic respect because you can do what is necessary effortlessly.
And, that is wanting more from life; effortlessly living; letting go of your inhibitions; singing that love song you wrote about being crazy in love, being worth more in every aspect of your job, your personal, professional, and associative life; is that 'coming full circle?' To me it is, I see myself being more jovial about life, I see myself being appreciative, and I see myself being royal; because I always seek loyalty in love, friendship and commitment; so, that like being forever!
And those that don't matter get you, and more often than not, your ideas are explained for understanding because those that understand; like to see your ideas flourish instead of being explained. You Know? Right!
Life grants us many opportunities and if we are fortunate we seek a Carpe Diem attitude. And sometimes in the opportunities presented, we make great friends and form lasting relationships, while other opportunities are definitely situational.
So, I find myself learning to let go and progress to something more meaningful or progressing towards the next task or duty I was assigned. Sometimes, a "let -go" is unexpected, painful, and even difficult to accept.
And sometimes, not letting go of your past keeps you in situational bondage. And then there comes a time in your life where you have to choose where you want life to lead you; you know that fork in the road sort of situation; yes, you have to choose.
And more often than not it is inevitable, I was fortunate to have met, worked with, and befriend a lot of amazing people, and every round goes higher, and what I thought was my stopping point is not; there are a lot more people that I will meet if I continue to live; and, I just learned that adjusting to environmental factors will help keep me in perfect peace with myself.
So, over the past year, I learned to let go; acceptance, and most importantly, I learned more about the beauty of optimism. People come for a reason, season, and only the true ones stay in your life for a lifetime. No prisoners in my democracy...
And you should not feel bad when people leave out of our life. Every situation is a growing experience. If people want to be in your life; nothing should keep them away, and tears, anger and frustration is not the key that will make them stay.
Take relationships with a grain of salt; and that way when the ship has sailed. you will feel vivacious and your vessel will continue to be the the saving grace of those wayward souls.
Im looking forward to a year filled with great friends, opportunity, and of course optimism!
Think positively, live fearlessly, and with no regrets!
Having self control, is a complex that everyone suffers from, because we get passionate about things; for instance, the fans of the Mexico and Nigeria sold out the Georgia Dome Stadium; that's right reportedly 72,000 fans gathered last night to cheer on their teams. And, the fans came out in the most extravagant apparel along with noise makers, banners, signs, face paintings, drums, wind horns etc! And, of course there was no self- control because the fans were more intune with the passion of their teams and their countries!
And, ironically, Wednesday was a day of testing; "How much control do you have?" Good question; and with control does your mood lead to vehement anger? Also, another good question.
Most people encourage, ignoring situational confrontations that would lead to anger; which is ultimately a sign of no self-control.
So what do you do when then "natural factors" lead you to a lost of self control? Rephrased, I would say this: "What do you do when your conscience informs you of aggregated frustration?" Maybe that is what Rihanna was unapologetic for? Anger, lost of self control; and not becoming the victim of manipulation.
I've experience many instances where my anger leads to a lost of self control; and I never apologize for being angry; "that's like apologizing for being real." And Let the People Say: "YA FEEL ME! " Yes!
So when you connect the dots, you can discover where your frustration and lost of self control derives.
Never apologize for being real; apologize for something else like; being insensitive, or oblivious; or inconsiderate.
"Single Ladies," the popular television series; written and created by Stacy Littlejohn is being canceled. I was very, no extremely disappointed to learn of this news. If you read my blog, you know that the show is one of my favorites. I feel like that is the problem; inconsistency with television production. Viacom is allegedly working with the producers on a different show; that poses to be better;so, if the network is concerned about ratings, why would you eliminate a show that is doing well to incorporate a new show?
If I had my way, I would continue to fund the show, "Single Ladies" while introducing viewers to another show. I feel that by doing so, VH1 would propel their network into a multifaceted network that caters to all ethnicities, by producing shows that extends beyond culture and racial lines. I just feel that it is not a very wise decision.
If you really look at the network; they offer reality, music and music specials, psychological programs, and typical everyday television series; well they could because right now "Single Ladies" is the only show that holds that slot. Furthermore, on a Monday night, if everything is alright; I can ease into my evening with VH1, and more often than not, I watch that one network for about six hours effortlessly. So thats that!
