Wanting More From Life...

So, this has been sort of a challenging week  for me! I got over those jitters March always seems to bring. Took an organic approach to conflict, confusion, chaos! Now, I work towards contentment of infertility and wanting to reproduce.

And, how I feel; its only going to change if you let it, Im forreal see. So, I guess Ill get my ink redone. New Attitudes have to be solidified with new ink! And its well past due for me. I'm just apprehensive about the pain, of which I do not do well with. So, I guess it.s a matter of getting over the initial shock of the pain. There is nothing more disappointing than having to do things in a repetitive form; more often than not; the act of doing so gives you that feeling of incompetence.

I feel incompetence in many areas of my life some of which are primarily my own doing. And other failures derive from poor decisions which lead to more hardship; so, then you're left in a feeling of resentment. And resentment leads to questions and those questions never get answered; and unanswered questions leads to depression; and depression, anxiety because you're left with a feeling of worthlessness.

Not wanting to be who you are because you've been told all your life that no matter how much you ascend yourself into that realm of competence; you'll never be perfect or master the unspoken ethical code of life which appears to be status, money, and automatic respect.

And, even though you feel that you've mastered those things you cant seem to get the reciprocal. And if you  matter to you; you never give up and you strive for those things perpetually.
So, I always seek more from life, and I encourage all those who want more to take the same just stand; and worry not  about status, money and automatic respect because you can do what is necessary effortlessly.

And, that is wanting more from life; effortlessly living; letting go of your  inhibitions; singing that love song you wrote about being crazy in love, being worth more in every aspect of your job, your personal, professional, and associative life; is that 'coming full circle?' To me it is, I see myself being more jovial about life, I see myself being appreciative, and I see myself being royal; because I always seek loyalty in love, friendship and commitment; so, that like being forever!

And those that don't matter get you, and more often than not, your ideas are explained for understanding because those that understand; like to see your ideas flourish instead of being explained. You Know? Right!

-Be Forever!